Unleash the Power of Conflict: Exploring Different Styles of Engagement (Part 2)
In my last article, we explored developing conflict management as a leadership superpower by understanding the architecture of a conflict. Now, let’s explore the different styles of engaging in conflict and how they can shape our leadership approach.
Understanding Conflict Styles
Conflict is inevitable, and when we're immersed in it, each of us has a distinct pattern of behavior that emerges. In 1974, Dr. Kenneth W. Thomas and Dr. Ralph H. Kilmann developed an instrument to assess these behaviors, the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI). This tool identifies our conflict styles by focusing on two key dimensions: assertiveness and cooperativeness.
Assertiveness refers to the extent to which a person seeks to satisfy their concerns.
Cooperativeness reflects the degree to which a person seeks to satisfy the concerns of others.
Every time you're involved in a conflict, your behavior reflects a balance between these two dimensions, shaping your conflict management style. Based on this model, there are five specific modes of engagement:
Competing (High Assertiveness, Low Cooperativeness): This mode centers on power. Individuals focus on their concerns and may use their authority to win their position or assert their rights.
Accommodating (Low Assertiveness, High Cooperativeness): Here, individuals prioritize the concerns of others over their own. They often self-sacrifice to meet the needs or wants of others.
Avoiding (Low Assertiveness, Low Cooperativeness): In this mode, individuals sidestep the conflict entirely, neither pursuing their concerns nor addressing the concerns of others.
Collaborating (High Assertiveness, High Cooperativeness): Collaboration involves seeking a resolution that satisfies everyone’s concerns. This mode requires deeper exploration into the issues to find a mutually beneficial outcome.
Compromising (Moderate Assertiveness, Moderate Cooperativeness): Compromise is about finding a quick, mutually acceptable solution that partially satisfies all parties involved.
How does knowing our conflict style help us manage conflict?
Each mode typifies varying degrees of assertiveness and cooperation. While we can all manage all five modes, each of us has a preferred style during conflict situations.
It's important to note that no conflict style is inherently superior. The effectiveness of each mode depends on the situation. As leaders, recognizing your preferred conflict style and learning to adapt to different modes when necessary, can significantly enhance your conflict management skills.
Case study: Dr. Miller’s Journey
Dr. Miller, a family practice physician in a large healthcare organization, struggled with an inconsistent and difficult medical director. She endured years of frustrating behaviors, such as having patients removed from her panel without her knowledge, receiving unsupportive work schedules, and having orders canceled without her permission.
Initially, Dr. Miller adopted an accommodating mode, repeatedly asking her medical director what she needed to do to be notified of changes. Despite her efforts, the situation didn't improve.
When Dr. Miller reached out for coaching, she was at her wits' end. She wondered if leaving medicine would be better than continuing to tolerate her boss’s mistreatment. However, after reflecting on her situation, she realized she wasn’t ready to give up her career but was no longer willing to tolerate mistreatment. Shifting into a competing mode, Dr. Miller advocated for herself by reaching out to human resources, ultimately securing a new practice setting within her organization that better supported her needs.
Dr. Miller’s journey illustrates how understanding and adapting your conflict management style can lead to more effective outcomes. By recognizing when to shift from accommodating to competing, she was able to take control of her situation and find a resolution that aligned with her professional goals.
Understanding your conflict management style and knowing when to navigate other modes can lead to more effective conflict resolution and stronger relationships with your team. As leaders, honing this skill is essential for fostering a positive and productive work environment.